Punk Rock always sounds better in Kilts. Especially on St Paddy’s day.
Of course we know you already have one, but just in case you discover it’s been lost or stolen right before the big show. Here’s a quick guide on how to put one together at the last minute:
Step 1: Determine you’re man enough to wear a Kilt in the first place and buy the fabric from a manly craft store like Michael’s.
Step 2: Buy about 3 ½ – 4 ½ yards of length and from 44 to 50 inches in width. Men with 36” waist will need 3 ½ yards of length while the more robust will need more.
If it’s above the knee, you’re a girl
If it’s below the knee, you’re wearing a dress.
Step 3: Fold your fabric in half like a hot dog made from haggis and sew a 1” hem along the raw side edge. As well as a 1 ½ hem on the ends.
Step 4: Drink a dark warm beer, ya Tinker and listen to this:
Step 5: Lay the fabric long ways and from 14-19 inches from the end (depending how wide your manhood is), start a blade fold with about 1” to 1 ½ “ gaps between folds. Every good Scot knows a blade fold but if ya don’t just google the thing.
Step 6: Repeat the fold until you have about 26 to 30 inches of fold (Or about front hip bone to front hip bone, Ask the lass of your life where she puts her thumbs when she’s driving your snake out of Ireland)
Step 7: Determine where the front will overlap and fold over. Add a belt to hold your new Kilt together.